I barely just got a bunnie hes name is thumper he is barely like 3months old I got him on may the 10th. Im really curious if my ex still has feelings for me like I do. I broked up with him because of my sister me nd her were ditching school nd her dad called the cops saying we got kidnapped by an old homie i got. The thing is he dont want me to have any guy friends because since he abused me he is scared im gonna send someone to kick hes ass.That day I saw my ex nd I called him and tol him for now is just a break he said ok nd he was crying saying that even though im not allowed to go to hes house he can visit me.I told him no that we need a break to let things chill. Its been 3 months since I took a bereak with him. I do want to get with him still. I dont want to do drugs anymore im tired of hurting myself nd the people around that care for me. I want to graduate highschool and become a nurse. I know I could do it if i set my mind to it. I want to get pregnant at the age of 18 but i wanna be a single mother. If the guy just gets me pregnant and lives me i wouldnt mind because the kid would be my only happiness nd my only reason for me to stay alive. I tryed to kill my self 3 times once I hanged myself, the second time i cut my veins, and my third time i overdosed with 60 pills. Some people think im crazy but im not i just went through some things that i cant stand to remember. I get flashbacks when my dad abused me. He mentally abused me, phsycally abused me, and he sexualy touched me. I remember when he would treat me like i was just a piece of trash when he would treat me like i was the dog of the house. He wold brake my arms for the little things and brake my legs he took everything I loved away from me. He took my pets. He send my ex-boyfriend away when i was in 5th grade. Then the guy I fell in love again Nelson hes three years older then me hes 19. He the cops on him saying hes to old for me and he dont want him near me. Thats why I broked up with him because ill rather cry not being with him. Then crying seing him behind bars. My stepdad would hit my mom if she tryed to defend me. He told my mom he would kill me and her if she told anyone that he was sexually touching me. Now u can see why I tryed killing myself because why do I wanna still wanna be alive if my whole life is going to take away what I love. Now I have a restraining order over him so he has to stay 100 feet away from me my mom also put it nd my little sister ashley she is hes bioligical daughter but she is scared of him. He has a younger daughter my other little sister Amy she is 9 years old she is not scared of him because he treats her nice he sometime strict with her but he never treated her bad like me my mom my sis and even my older brother but he gets along with him. My brother forgives him. I do to but is not up to me how he is going to pay bi live that to god. Because if it bwas up to me I promise he would be dead already for everything he did to me and my mom who suffered alot like me.
